Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
