You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
