We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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