C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
