you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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