i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
