Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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