Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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