the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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