Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize