I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
