just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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