If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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