I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She bit a glass in half.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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