So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
