Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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