he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
not ubering you a puppy
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
