Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We are all done wearing pants today
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
