can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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