I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
