just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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