The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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