Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
wow bdsm is so cute
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