I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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