guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
