I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.