You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
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I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!