Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?

Fav 26 1675 4641
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.

Fav 17 9156 1299
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?

Fav 14 4013 1284
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.

Fav 4 1056 699
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(843): View more from South Carolina

When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...

Fav 6 2174 877
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."

Fav 10 2295 805
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.

(1-816): View more from Missouri

I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.

Fav 7 1327 640
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

How'd your Tinder date go?

(931): View more from Tennessee

Well, I met his girlfriend...

Fav 5 533 741
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob

Fav 2 64 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT