dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
