I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
