So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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