Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
