So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
