Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
