Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
