community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize