fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
