I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
