I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
