After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
