i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
