remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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