So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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