so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
