Got a toothbrush?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
