I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
