I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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