Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
