She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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