Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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