I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
