Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
