can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
