On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
