And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
