did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
did i walk over a car last night?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dicks are not precious.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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