He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
