she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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