the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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