i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
