Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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