It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
